1 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:14,990 A magnificent city. A paradise. Who could ask for more? 2 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:20,890 I, who have lived in all the great cities of the world, Paris, Moscow, 3 00:00:21,190 --> 00:00:26,290 paused between my trammels to rest and enjoy the splendors of the city by the 4 00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:32,229 bay. When I arrived, I thought perhaps I might indulge my business acumen in a 5 00:00:32,229 --> 00:00:33,209 little project. 6 00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:38,310 I, who have dined on oysters with the Rockefellers and shared ooze -oo with 7 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:45,030 Agnews, I, who once lost half my thumb to Julia Child, decided to put together 8 00:00:45,030 --> 00:00:47,870 little empire of international health food stores. 9 00:00:48,390 --> 00:00:52,070 Oh, but first, allow me to introduce myself. 10 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,970 No, no, not him. Over here. 11 00:00:56,830 --> 00:01:01,730 Well, don't look so askance. Haven't you ever seen anyone down on that block 12 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:05,670 before? My last enterprise went badly. Insurance. 13 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,240 We sold the pregnancy policies to senior citizens. 14 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,440 You'd be surprised how prolific those old bunnies get. 15 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,740 That's the only thing they do with their spare time. 16 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,460 We went broke. 17 00:01:17,820 --> 00:01:19,100 Everybody makes mistakes. 18 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:25,460 But this time, this time, I was going to make it big. 19 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:30,440 All I needed was my old buddy, Professor Brains, to join me, and the entire 20 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,480 world and its fortune would be ours. 21 00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:35,140 I hadn't seen Brains in a while. 22 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:39,410 Not since we put together the Heavenly Reward Chain Letter Project. 23 00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:43,170 Oh, I knew he would be thrilled to see me. 24 00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:47,810 He always loved me like a brother. At last, I spotted him. 25 00:01:56,710 --> 00:02:01,710 At first, it appeared he had mistaken me for someone else. But after seeing 26 00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:04,430 clearly that it was me, he ran to me. 27 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:11,620 and threw his arms around me and wouldn't let me go. And it was truly 28 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,680 heartwarming to feel the love he had for me. 29 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:17,120 I was truly touched. 30 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:22,280 I confided in him about my plans to make us both millionaires by opening the 31 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,500 first of many magic health food stores right here in San Francisco. 32 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,340 He begged to assist me, as I knew he would. 33 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,600 I assured him that I had a top spot for him in the organization as chief 34 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:41,160 chemist. He would make the medicinal drugs and I would sell them. I knew 35 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,120 would be perfect for the job. 36 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:47,800 Actually, I didn't care if he created bottled water. 37 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:54,580 I knew I could make people believe anything could cure them. And believing 38 00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:56,260 nine -tenths the cure. 39 00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:59,720 I leased an old, distinguished -looking building. 40 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:01,920 and set to work right away. 41 00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:29,130 Susie, help me with this. What has 11 letters, starts with an A, and is used 42 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:30,130 make you more loving? 43 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,990 No, it's not aspirin. 44 00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:34,610 Aspirin only has seven letters. 45 00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:37,550 Besides, it doesn't make you more loving. 46 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:42,070 I sure wish something exciting would happen to me. 47 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:43,830 Maybe we could go shopping. 48 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,730 I haven't bought anything in days. 49 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,170 I sure could use some new shoes. 50 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:53,780 I'm so bored. 51 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,060 Let's go out and do something. 52 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,800 I'm not doing anything now. 53 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:05,860 And I can pick you up in ten minutes. I wish I could go with you, Mimi. 54 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:07,560 But I've got a date. 55 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,360 You should see him. 56 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,160 He's gorgeous. 57 00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:19,340 He's here now. 58 00:05:19,380 --> 00:05:20,380 Bye. 59 00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:26,740 Hi. Oh, my. 60 00:05:27,100 --> 00:05:29,580 You look good enough to eat. Go right ahead. 61 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,280 Maybe after dessert. Okay. 62 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,080 Having trouble with your body energy? 63 00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,340 Not enough juice? Too much juice? 64 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,740 Get yourself into top shape naturally. 65 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,920 Join people who treat themselves well at the Magical Health Market's grand 66 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:22,720 opening all this coming week. Don't let that sluggish, run -down feeling ruin 67 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:23,399 your fun. 68 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,960 Pick yourself up at the Magical Health Market. 69 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:36,960 Hurry, everybody, hurry. 70 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:38,600 We open tomorrow morning. 71 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,200 Oh, my God. 72 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,300 I almost forgot. 73 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,400 I'd better check up on Brains. 74 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:46,240 We don't have our most important product yet. 75 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,020 Brains, don't get so involved in this thing. We got to open tomorrow. 76 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,320 Hey. 77 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,820 I really think she's a chemist. 78 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,520 Hurry up, will you? Hurry up. 79 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:19,350 That's terrific. 80 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:23,530 Hey, what do you say, Brains? How about adding a little color, huh? 81 00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:29,490 I was just joking. 82 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:35,370 Easy, easy, Brains. I wouldn't think of interfering with your work. 83 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:39,510 But we've got to open tomorrow. We need this product ready for tomorrow, Brains. 84 00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:40,630 You promised. 85 00:07:40,850 --> 00:07:41,850 He's gone mad. 86 00:07:53,870 --> 00:07:57,730 Jack, that was so nice. I wasn't expecting a movie after dinner. 87 00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:01,390 It was great, wasn't it? Boy, that monster was really big. 88 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:03,710 I bet yours is bigger. 89 00:08:06,090 --> 00:08:07,090 What are you doing? 90 00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:09,290 Oh, nothing. 91 00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:17,890 Maybe you'd like to look before you leap. 92 00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:20,890 You know, kind of like a sneak preview. 93 00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,040 So that you know what you're getting into. 94 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:30,740 And believe me, it's all USDA top fresh American female. 95 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,919 What's the matter? Aren't I good enough for you? 96 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:46,620 I bet you got a little excited, didn't you? 97 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:48,680 Oh! 98 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,340 Oh, I guess you really were excited, weren't you? 99 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,900 Now you know my problem. 100 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,180 It's just too sensitive. 101 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:02,140 And even if I get a little turned on, it goes off and then it's too soft to do 102 00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:03,140 anything with. 103 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:05,580 It happens all the time and it's really frustrating. 104 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,320 Don't worry about it, Jack. 105 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,420 I just like being with you. 106 00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,820 You're such a great looking guy. 107 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:16,040 It gets me a little turned on. 108 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,200 Would you mind if I played with myself? 109 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,300 Oh, please go right ahead. 110 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:23,640 Thank you. 111 00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,260 That was really great. 112 00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,940 I just wish there was some way I could control myself so that we could do that 113 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:01,940 together. 114 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:03,740 Don't worry about it, Jack. 115 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,900 I'm sure that we can figure something out. 116 00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,400 Why, Walter, what a surprise. 117 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,920 The last time we met, you were as bald as an eagle. 118 00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,620 Now look at you. What a full head of hair. 119 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,720 Where did you get that beautiful wig? 120 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:24,120 Okay, talent, cut the rehearsal. We're going live in five seconds. 121 00:11:25,199 --> 00:11:30,860 Four, three, two, and... Why, Walter, what a surprise. 122 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:35,580 Last time we met, you were as bald as an eagle. Now look at you. What a full 123 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:36,499 head of hair. 124 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,280 Where did you get that beautiful wig? 125 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,700 That's no wig, Beatrice. That's all my real hair. 126 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,220 Thanks to PQM2, the latest, greatest medicine I've ever tried. 127 00:11:46,060 --> 00:11:49,860 PQM2 will put the hair back on your head and romance back in your life. 128 00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:54,080 PQM2. Available only at the Magical Health Market. 129 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,800 Supply is limited. First come, first serve. Hurry on down to MHM's grand 130 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,680 opening. Get PQM2 today while it lasts. 131 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,700 And surprise someone tomorrow. 132 00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:05,160 What a head of male hair. 133 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:09,300 You know, Walter, I never realized how attractive you really are. 134 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,600 I could go for someone like you. 135 00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:13,660 And cut. 136 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,080 Excellent. Excellent. Thank you. See you later. 137 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,440 I wonder what this stuff really does. 138 00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:22,580 I don't know. 139 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:27,640 Here, you know, I heard that this was from the first batch of a new secret 140 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,620 formula right out of the laboratory. 141 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:31,940 I'm going to try it. 142 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:36,480 Not bad. 143 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:37,680 Try some. 144 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,540 Okay. 145 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,580 Well, 146 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,839 we'll see. 147 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:48,840 Yep. 148 00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:09,829 Not so intense. 149 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,230 Not so intense. A little milder, huh? 150 00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:18,670 Welcome to the grand opening of the magical health market. 151 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,450 Come right in. 152 00:13:21,810 --> 00:13:27,070 And find the cures for your problems. 153 00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:30,330 That was wonderful, my dear. Yes, that's it. 154 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:35,330 Come right in. Come right in. Welcome to the grand opening of the magical health 155 00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,550 market. Yes, indeed. 156 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,500 How do you do there, sir? 157 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,960 What's the matter? A little wobbly in the old pegs there today, huh? Hmm. What 158 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,160 seems to be troubling you today? Arms, legs, anything in between? 159 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,980 You can tell old Herb about it? Yeah. Listen, listen. 160 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,240 What is it? 161 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,720 Birds. 162 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:52,880 Oh. 163 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:58,010 Birds? That's your problem? Birds, huh? No, I can't get rid of them. Oh, yes. 164 00:13:58,250 --> 00:13:59,250 Look at this. 165 00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:02,510 Oh, yes. Would you clean that off for me? Thank you so much. Yes, birds, huh? 166 00:14:03,090 --> 00:14:07,150 Have you had this problem for long, my friend? A long time. I see. Well, it 167 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:11,730 so happens, my friend, that our special elixir was just the thing invented to 168 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,630 cure you of your problem of birds. 169 00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:18,570 Why? Do you happen to recall the great bird epidemic of Greenland in 1968, eh? 170 00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:22,130 I didn't think so. Well, let me tell you all about it. In any case... 171 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:27,280 We had to send plane loads of our special magic form of PQM2 to Greenland. 172 00:14:27,980 --> 00:14:34,240 Why, my friend, one spoonful of this after one spoonful only, you won't even 173 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,540 know how to spell birds. 174 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,000 Oh, yes, madam, how do you do? 175 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,680 Herbert C. Abernathy at your service. What can I do for you, madam? 176 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,400 I need something for my dog. 177 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,160 Your dog? What seems to be wrong with your dog? 178 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:51,840 He has headaches. 179 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,340 Well, how do you know that your dog has headaches, madam? 180 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,840 He's irritable all the time. 181 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,780 Oh, irritability in dogs. Yes, that's a sure sign of headaches. 182 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Well, certainly. 183 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,240 I'll tell you what. Can you wait just a moment while I bring up this man's 184 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,600 purchase, and I'll be right with you. Now, don't go away, you cutie pie. 185 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:17,440 Yes, sir. Thank you very much. That'll be, let's see, $9 .99 186 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,920 plus tax. That'll be a grand total of $10 .77. 187 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:26,310 1077. 188 00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:30,870 That'll be just fine, sir. Have a nice day. Watch out for those birds. They fly 189 00:15:30,870 --> 00:15:31,870 kind of low. 190 00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,670 Bye -bye. 191 00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:36,570 Oh, yes. 192 00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:40,050 I almost forgot about you. Now, what were you saying about little dog's 193 00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:43,070 headaches? Do you have any of that PQM2? 194 00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:10,020 Oh, no. 195 00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:14,800 Oh, I can see you have a real problem, sir. 196 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,580 I'm dreadfully sorry. 197 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,040 I didn't mean for this to happen. 198 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:23,280 Oh, this will never come clean. 199 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,860 Never mind, I'll finish it. 200 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:28,100 Just don't look at me like that again, okay? 201 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,880 Boy, I hope this PQM2 stops all this. 202 00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:36,720 No, I didn't mean it, honest. 203 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:39,350 But you are cute. 204 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:47,270 God, this is the slowest day in history. 205 00:16:47,990 --> 00:16:50,430 Well, sometimes the juices just don't flow, baby. 206 00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:53,850 It's really too hard when your living depends on it. 207 00:16:58,570 --> 00:16:59,570 Okay, 208 00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:03,070 okay. Hello, hello. 209 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,889 I'm ready. 210 00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:07,770 Hey, more birds here, right? 211 00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:09,079 Just you. 212 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,480 Oh, 213 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,540 I'm ready for action. All right, Superman. 214 00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,920 All right, we can tell you're a male. 215 00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:17,180 These are our girls. 216 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,520 This is Star. 217 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:19,880 Hello. 218 00:17:20,099 --> 00:17:21,140 And this is Brenda. 219 00:17:23,579 --> 00:17:26,859 They will be more than happy to accommodate you for anything you might 220 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:33,540 Both beautiful and ready, willing, and able. 221 00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:34,780 How about you? 222 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,060 I'm the madam, dear. 223 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,800 I'm not prejudiced. 224 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,040 I'll start with you, but don't you two go away, because I got a lot to read 225 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,560 Man, I'm ready to go. 226 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,440 Come on. 227 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,740 Looks like a tit rubber to me. 228 00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:59,200 Probably won't get it up. He'll be back in five minutes. 229 00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:01,080 Come on, Miss Bigfoot. 230 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,000 No. No birds in there, is there? 231 00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,340 None but you. 232 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:06,940 Okay. 233 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,160 That's it? 234 00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,340 Yeah. 235 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,500 That's your mom? 236 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,700 Yeah, that's her. 237 00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:28,370 Keep these up. 238 00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:30,010 You want those up, huh? Yeah. 239 00:20:22,352 --> 00:20:23,352 Birds. 240 00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,230 Birds. 241 00:20:25,930 --> 00:20:27,490 Birds. Birds. 242 00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:28,870 Birds. 243 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:48,500 And do you know, madam, that not only did they forget all about their 244 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,920 those little doggies didn't even know they had heads! 245 00:22:51,860 --> 00:22:53,900 This is just the thing for you. 246 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,340 Hey! 247 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,520 Wait just a minute. 248 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:01,400 Excuse me, just a second. Didn't you just tell that old man you could get rid 249 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,239 his birds? 250 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,740 Well, yes, I did mention something about birds. 251 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,360 Didn't you just tell this old lady you could help her dog get rid of her 252 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:12,060 headaches? Well, I seem to recall mentioning something about getting rid 253 00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:13,440 dog's headaches, yes. Why do you ask? 254 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,460 I don't know what you're trying to pull here, but obviously you can't get rid of 255 00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:18,460 both of their problems. 256 00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:22,880 Well, young man, just settle down, hold your horses, I can explain everything. 257 00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:29,780 Why, don't you realize that our PQM2 has been scientifically formulated by the 258 00:23:29,780 --> 00:23:32,460 world's foremost authority on health medicine himself? 259 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:33,880 That would be Dr. 260 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,080 Otto Bruckmeier. 261 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:39,340 In just a few moments, I will scientifically demonstrate to you for 262 00:23:39,340 --> 00:23:41,680 complete satisfaction or your money, cheers. 263 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,220 The amazing properties of PQM2. 264 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:52,360 Me put you on, ha, rubbish. But first, I will need a volunteer. 265 00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:58,280 Well, before we have our volunteer, I would like to introduce to you our 266 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,160 laboratory assistant, the charming Dr. 267 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,400 Wendy Wilson. 268 00:24:02,810 --> 00:24:05,250 She will be assisting us in the following demonstration. 269 00:24:05,910 --> 00:24:09,030 For which, of course, we do need our volunteer. 270 00:24:10,870 --> 00:24:13,610 I said I needed a volunteer. 271 00:24:13,990 --> 00:24:16,510 Someone who's dying, perhaps. 272 00:24:18,230 --> 00:24:19,230 Who's this? 273 00:24:22,270 --> 00:24:24,870 Stand back. Give him air. 274 00:24:33,070 --> 00:24:34,790 My nerve. My nerve. 275 00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:38,270 Oh, look. 276 00:24:38,390 --> 00:24:43,390 Oh, quick. Doctor. Doctor, he's fainted. We must revive him. Some PQM2. In just 277 00:24:43,390 --> 00:24:46,870 a few seconds, ladies and gentlemen, you'll see the magical properties of 278 00:24:46,870 --> 00:24:49,490 special elixir by Dr. Otto Brummeister. 279 00:24:50,090 --> 00:24:52,170 Yes. Did you give him enough? Yes. Okay. 280 00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:54,330 Now, in just a few moments, you'll be able to see. 281 00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:56,510 We're fighting. Thanks. 282 00:24:56,850 --> 00:24:57,850 It'll almost be. 283 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:28,210 I want you. 284 00:25:29,450 --> 00:25:30,450 No. 285 00:25:32,690 --> 00:25:34,710 No, get away from me. 286 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:38,750 Hey, 287 00:25:40,770 --> 00:25:42,050 that guy's really turned on. 288 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,620 I want some of that. I'll take some of that. 289 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,840 That's plenty for everyone here. 290 00:25:48,140 --> 00:25:49,300 That'll be $9 .99. 291 00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:52,760 Oh, don't worry about your change. That'll be fine. Yeah, yes, that's fine. 292 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,200 plenty for you, too. Would you like some? Thank you so much. 293 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:59,540 Thank you very much. Just leave your money here. Oh, madam, I almost forgot 294 00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:00,720 about you. Yes. 295 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,300 You're a little doggy, don't you? 296 00:26:03,820 --> 00:26:04,820 Back for you. 297 00:26:05,550 --> 00:26:09,170 I'm afraid we're a little short here, madam. That's an extra large bubble. 298 00:26:09,530 --> 00:26:12,110 Do you have another $5? Oh, yes, you do. Yes. 299 00:26:12,410 --> 00:26:15,450 Make sure you say hello to the nice little canine. Call me, will you, 300 00:26:15,610 --> 00:26:18,230 Thank you so much, madam. And have a nice day. 301 00:26:21,090 --> 00:26:23,110 Goodbye. Watch yourself on the way out. Don't fall. 302 00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,960 Wendy, you can tell old Brains he can knock it off now. 303 00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:44,120 Boy, that sure was a great idea old Brains had. 304 00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:48,080 Brains, stop that. 305 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,900 Mr. Abernathy said all the customers are gone. 306 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:53,960 Mr. Abernathy, Mr. 307 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,160 Abernathy, come back here quick. 308 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,540 There's something wrong. 309 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,640 There's something wrong with Brains. Something wrong with Brains? How can 310 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,380 be something wrong with Brains? There's never anything right with Brains. 311 00:27:12,860 --> 00:27:13,980 I don't believe it. 312 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,560 Oh, Wendy, you poor child. 313 00:27:16,780 --> 00:27:17,780 Help her to stop this. 314 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:18,880 Hey, Brains. 315 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:20,840 Brains, cut it out, huh? 316 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,920 Brains, is your old pal Herb talking to you? 317 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,420 Brains, you can stop the play acting now. 318 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:28,920 Brains, do you hear me? Do you hear me? 319 00:27:29,260 --> 00:27:30,360 Oh, terrific. 320 00:27:31,340 --> 00:27:32,520 Terrific? Him? 321 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,380 Terrific? What the hell does he know? 322 00:27:34,940 --> 00:27:37,720 Mr. Abernathy, did you say sex? 323 00:27:38,380 --> 00:27:40,260 Is this what sex looks like? 324 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,980 Sex? No, no, no. This is not sex. 325 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,240 No. 326 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:49,580 Brains, cut it out, will you? Cut it out. Look, I know she's a beautiful 327 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:55,380 but we've got our magic potion to produce. And Wendy's here. 328 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,000 Wendy's here. Just think what you're doing to this poor kid's mind. 329 00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:01,140 Don't stop. 330 00:28:02,540 --> 00:28:05,840 Oh, gosh, Brains, you look wonderful doing that. 331 00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:09,220 So that is what sex looks like. Brains. 332 00:28:10,239 --> 00:28:13,540 Brains, what did you put into that special elixir of yours? 333 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,740 We're going to be rich. 334 00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:23,100 We're going to be rich. 335 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:29,920 Is it possible that Brains has accidentally created a love potion that 336 00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:36,840 Hey, if Brains is this turned on, and he obviously is, 337 00:28:38,030 --> 00:28:41,010 He has created the perfect aphrodisiac. 338 00:28:41,230 --> 00:28:43,010 Wendy, we're going to be rich. 339 00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:50,690 Would you like to kiss me, Mr. Abernathy? 340 00:28:51,870 --> 00:28:54,650 Me? What they're doing sure looks good. 341 00:28:54,870 --> 00:28:55,870 Oh, no, honey. 342 00:28:56,190 --> 00:28:59,910 I never do anything like that. No, no, no, no. That's not real sex anyway. 343 00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:04,330 Hey, listen, honey. As long as there are chumps out there with bucks to spend. 344 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:05,910 Me do that? 345 00:29:06,070 --> 00:29:08,860 No. Come on. Come on, Wendy. We've got to get back to work. 346 00:31:42,550 --> 00:31:43,970 Oh. Oh. 347 00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:26,420 Going to Berkeley? 348 00:33:06,540 --> 00:33:07,980 Isn't that a great film, baby? 349 00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,780 I don't know. I thought it was pretty boring myself. 350 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:21,460 Would you like a little wine? 351 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:23,480 I don't care. 352 00:36:21,870 --> 00:36:22,870 Bye. 353 00:39:58,220 --> 00:39:59,220 I just came. 354 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,580 Oh, please. I need you inside of me. 355 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,020 Oh, I'm going to need some time. 356 00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:04,560 No, please. Right now. 357 00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:06,800 Oh, but I just came. Please. Come on. 358 00:40:07,380 --> 00:40:11,160 Come here. It's going to take time. No. Come on. You can do it. Come on. 359 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:12,960 Oh, 360 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,080 kids, five seconds, and you're on live. 361 00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:23,500 Four, three, two, and... Why, Walter, what a surprise. 362 00:40:23,980 --> 00:40:26,400 The last time we met, you were as bald as an eagle. 363 00:40:26,910 --> 00:40:27,910 Now look at you. 364 00:40:28,130 --> 00:40:29,630 What a full head of hair. 365 00:40:30,230 --> 00:40:32,070 Where did you get this beautiful wig? 366 00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:35,290 That's no wig, Beatrice. That's my real hair. 367 00:40:35,590 --> 00:40:37,130 Haven't you heard of PQM2? 368 00:40:37,450 --> 00:40:41,650 It's the latest, the greatest. Restores natural vigor wherever you need it. 369 00:40:42,070 --> 00:40:46,770 Guaranteed to perform miracles, PQM2 is available only at the Magical Health 370 00:40:46,770 --> 00:40:52,290 Market. Supply is limited to those with cash, so hurry down now during MHM's 371 00:40:52,290 --> 00:40:53,290 grand opening. 372 00:40:54,010 --> 00:40:56,170 Get PQM2 today. 373 00:40:56,830 --> 00:40:58,690 And surprise someone tomorrow. 374 00:40:59,450 --> 00:41:01,210 What a head of male hair. 375 00:41:01,830 --> 00:41:06,230 You know, Walter, I never realized how attractive you really are. 376 00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:11,890 A thing of beauty. Fantastic. Take a five -minute break, all right? 377 00:41:13,610 --> 00:41:15,730 I could even go for someone like you. 378 00:42:25,670 --> 00:42:26,670 Oh. 379 00:43:56,799 --> 00:43:58,920 Okay, kids, we're going live in 20 seconds. 380 00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:01,180 Jesus Christ. 381 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,940 Hey, we're going live. You got 10 seconds. 382 00:44:07,460 --> 00:44:08,540 She's sucking him off. 383 00:44:09,700 --> 00:44:12,740 You're on live in 4, 3, 2. 384 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:14,880 You're on. 385 00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:16,960 Why, Walter, what a surprise. 386 00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:19,400 The last time we met, you were bald as an eagle. 387 00:44:19,710 --> 00:44:20,710 Now look at you. 388 00:44:30,530 --> 00:44:32,050 God, you're still here? 389 00:44:32,270 --> 00:44:34,250 I thought you were gone hours ago. 390 00:45:01,020 --> 00:45:02,020 Stand up. 391 00:46:12,950 --> 00:46:13,950 Here, 392 00:46:15,610 --> 00:46:17,170 sit up there. Let me see you play with yourself. 393 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:02,260 Are you a star? 394 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:03,480 Oh, yeah. 395 00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:04,900 Say I'm a star. 396 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:46,640 Well, 397 00:48:48,740 --> 00:48:50,380 I hope this stuff works. 398 00:48:55,540 --> 00:48:56,540 Doesn't taste too bad. 399 00:49:00,650 --> 00:49:01,650 Here goes. 400 00:49:19,750 --> 00:49:26,430 I can't believe it. It's not coming. 401 00:49:26,930 --> 00:49:29,450 Oh, I'm so happy for you. 402 00:49:44,780 --> 00:49:46,100 Can I have some of this? 403 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,080 Can I have some of this? 404 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:07,080 This is great. 405 00:50:17,290 --> 00:50:19,130 Oh, Susie, that's almost... 406 00:50:19,130 --> 00:50:27,530 I 407 00:50:27,530 --> 00:50:34,910 can't 408 00:50:34,910 --> 00:50:36,390 believe it's really not coming. 409 00:50:57,740 --> 00:50:58,740 What are you doing? 410 00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:02,200 Oh, yeah. 411 00:51:04,220 --> 00:51:05,760 Look at the baby. 412 00:51:13,180 --> 00:51:14,260 Oh, come here. 413 00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:16,360 Come here. Sit down. 414 00:51:18,980 --> 00:51:20,880 I'm going to take advantage of this. 415 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:44,940 I knew I was missing something. 416 00:51:47,100 --> 00:51:48,660 Oh, come on. 417 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:50,040 Yeah. 418 00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,100 Susie, you are terrific, baby. 419 00:51:59,940 --> 00:52:01,000 Oh, yeah. 420 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,760 Susie, you're great, baby. 421 00:52:09,300 --> 00:52:10,300 Love it. 422 00:52:16,430 --> 00:52:17,430 That's so good. 423 00:52:19,370 --> 00:52:22,570 Come here, let me try this. 424 00:52:23,110 --> 00:52:24,310 Stand with me over there. 425 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:25,850 Oh, yeah. 426 00:52:26,110 --> 00:52:27,250 Oh, you have a nice voice. 427 00:52:28,690 --> 00:52:29,990 Let me get it getting wet. 428 00:52:30,370 --> 00:52:31,770 Got this already getting wet. 429 00:52:33,550 --> 00:52:34,910 Oh, yeah. 430 00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:48,440 This is great. 431 00:52:50,380 --> 00:52:52,080 Oh, yeah. 432 00:52:54,140 --> 00:52:55,140 Oh. 433 00:52:57,340 --> 00:53:00,100 That feels so good. 434 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:06,340 Is that good to you, baby? 435 00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:22,560 Yeah. Mm -hmm. 436 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,460 Come on, shake your ass just a little bit. Yeah, like that. Mm -hmm. 437 00:53:28,540 --> 00:53:29,459 Is that good? 438 00:53:29,460 --> 00:53:30,460 It's terrific. 439 00:53:31,340 --> 00:53:34,680 Come on, shake it some more. Shake it harder. Come on, wiggle it. You know you 440 00:53:34,680 --> 00:53:35,680 can do it. 441 00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:37,220 Oh, you're doing it. 442 00:53:38,240 --> 00:53:39,240 Ooh. 443 00:53:41,100 --> 00:53:44,500 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 444 00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:46,960 Oh, yeah. 445 00:53:47,420 --> 00:53:48,420 Mm -hmm. 446 00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:58,680 Oh, I think it's coming. 447 00:53:58,960 --> 00:53:59,960 Yeah. 448 00:54:05,420 --> 00:54:06,420 Oh, 449 00:54:08,140 --> 00:54:13,340 my. 450 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,260 It's too hard. 451 00:54:21,260 --> 00:54:23,120 Look at that. 452 00:54:27,020 --> 00:54:27,939 I'd love to. 453 00:54:27,940 --> 00:54:29,960 I believe it. 454 00:54:32,380 --> 00:54:33,380 Yeah. 455 00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,380 Is that on? 456 00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:42,860 Oh, yes. 457 00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,780 Damn, Susie, you sure do that nice. 458 00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:50,660 God damn. 459 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000 Oh, yeah, baby. 460 00:54:57,820 --> 00:54:59,180 I think it's going to come again. 461 00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:17,780 Yeah. 462 00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,560 Oh, yeah. 463 00:55:30,350 --> 00:55:31,350 Oh my God. 464 00:55:33,650 --> 00:55:34,650 Oh. 465 00:55:37,470 --> 00:55:38,470 Oh. 466 00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:40,690 Did you look at that? 467 00:55:40,910 --> 00:55:42,270 It's coming again. 468 00:55:42,850 --> 00:55:43,970 God, this is pretty. 469 00:55:45,470 --> 00:55:47,550 Oh, yeah. 470 00:55:49,690 --> 00:55:51,550 Oh, yeah. 471 00:55:53,970 --> 00:55:57,410 Still some in there. 472 00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:41,360 Thank you. 473 00:58:27,540 --> 00:58:28,640 And I want you to really... 474 01:01:03,290 --> 01:01:04,290 Let's do it again. 475 01:01:05,770 --> 01:01:06,770 I want you to fuck me again. 476 01:01:06,990 --> 01:01:07,990 Oh. 477 01:01:09,530 --> 01:01:10,530 Oh, no. 478 01:01:10,910 --> 01:01:11,910 Yes. 479 01:01:18,010 --> 01:01:24,470 Oh, forget it. Oh, I can't. Come here. I've 480 01:01:24,470 --> 01:01:25,930 had enough. 481 01:01:26,150 --> 01:01:27,850 I don't want to fuck. It's been so long. 482 01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:30,690 What? I don't want to fuck. 483 01:01:32,530 --> 01:01:33,590 I'll pay you more money. 484 01:02:02,220 --> 01:02:04,360 Hey, baby, come on. Let's try it one more time, okay? 485 01:02:07,780 --> 01:02:09,720 We've been fucking all night. 486 01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,100 I just can't do it anymore. 487 01:02:15,340 --> 01:02:18,160 I know, I know, I know, but I still got a hard -on. 488 01:02:19,220 --> 01:02:24,580 And from San Francisco, we have an amazing story early this morning about a 489 01:02:24,580 --> 01:02:29,740 potion. Yes, it seems that a small neighborhood health food store called... 490 01:02:29,740 --> 01:02:32,370 Where the hell are you throwing it? ...Magical Health Market... began 491 01:02:32,370 --> 01:02:39,150 distributing a special elixir called PQM2 two days ago. Since then, 492 01:02:39,210 --> 01:02:43,570 there have been reports of individuals running wild in the streets who just 493 01:02:43,570 --> 01:02:45,850 cannot control their sexual urges. 494 01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:51,570 Authorities have begun searching for an antidote. But, as of this moment, there 495 01:02:51,570 --> 01:02:57,310 is evidently no way to stop lovemaking if you have been exposed to PQM2. 496 01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:03,180 They caution people to stay away from anyone looking unusually eager for love. 497 01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:08,320 The word this morning from San Francisco. The city of love struck by an 498 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:11,200 of love brought on by a love potion. 499 01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:12,900 Hard to believe, isn't it? 500 01:03:13,180 --> 01:03:17,200 Well, that's the way it is from San Francisco. 501 01:03:17,620 --> 01:03:21,560 And come right in. Step right up. Yeah, don't push. Don't pout. Right over here, 502 01:03:21,620 --> 01:03:22,620 sir. Yes, sir. 503 01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:23,700 There you have it. 504 01:03:23,780 --> 01:03:25,540 Guaranteed, my friend. You'll be asked. 505 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,920 You won't believe how... Step right up. Oh, yes. Do you have your money all set? 506 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:31,600 That's it. That's it. Yes. 507 01:03:32,460 --> 01:03:36,040 Right over here. Yes, sir. We'll take care of you. How many would you like? 508 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,040 one today. 509 01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,740 Well... I've got two. 510 01:03:39,940 --> 01:03:44,620 Oh, really? Thank you. Have a nice time. Step right up over there. Oh, yes. I 511 01:03:44,620 --> 01:03:45,620 can take care of you. 512 01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:46,640 Is it really good stuff? 513 01:03:47,020 --> 01:03:48,020 Send your friends in. 514 01:03:48,580 --> 01:03:50,140 How are you doing? Good to meet you. 515 01:03:50,540 --> 01:03:52,800 Is it working out for you? 516 01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:54,320 Oh, that's good. 517 01:04:04,819 --> 01:04:06,720 Come on back next week. We'll have plenty more. 518 01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:21,140 Where's the rest of the team, honey? 519 01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:24,680 Well, folks, this is it. 520 01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,860 The very last bottle of P -U -M -2. 521 01:04:28,380 --> 01:04:29,339 Don't worry. 522 01:04:29,340 --> 01:04:30,460 There'll be plenty tomorrow. 523 01:04:30,740 --> 01:04:31,740 Now, who wants this? 524 01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:35,440 $30. $30 for your sick child? 525 01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:37,760 $40. My grandma was real sick. 526 01:04:39,940 --> 01:04:40,940 $50. 527 01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:43,100 $50? $60? 528 01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:45,580 $65. 529 01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:50,340 Hey, wait. Now, wait just a minute. Just a minute. I don't think it's even legal 530 01:04:50,340 --> 01:04:53,400 for us to be bidding on merchandise like this. 531 01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:56,930 Do I hear $100? $100. Here we go. Do I hear $110? 532 01:04:57,150 --> 01:05:01,730 $110? Ah, $110. How about $120? Just a minute. Yes? We girls have pooled our 533 01:05:01,730 --> 01:05:02,730 money together here. 534 01:05:02,950 --> 01:05:04,370 We'll give you $200. 535 01:05:04,850 --> 01:05:07,010 $200. Ladies and gentlemen, did you hear that? 536 01:05:07,630 --> 01:05:10,730 $200 for the very last bottle of PQM2. 537 01:05:11,090 --> 01:05:13,530 $200 going once. $200 going twice. 538 01:05:13,850 --> 01:05:17,690 Sold to these three beautiful ladies for $200. 539 01:05:18,310 --> 01:05:19,890 That's all right. Don't be disappointed. 540 01:05:20,150 --> 01:05:21,630 Come on back tomorrow. We'll have... 541 01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:25,120 Plenty more PQM, too, for bargain prices. 542 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,260 Wendy, look. 543 01:05:29,380 --> 01:05:33,660 $200. Honey, we've made enough money today to retire. 544 01:05:34,220 --> 01:05:38,580 Oh, that would be great, Mr. Abernathy. 545 01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:39,960 You know something, honey? 546 01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,840 I'm getting a little worried. I mean, people are starting to get turned on 547 01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:45,000 here in the store, you know? 548 01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,980 My biggest problem right now, Wendy, is finding an antidote. 549 01:06:30,780 --> 01:06:35,120 How much do you think I could get for an antidote? 550 01:07:24,359 --> 01:07:26,480 Hello? Yeah, hi Brains. 551 01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:33,840 the hell are you doing in New York? 552 01:07:34,980 --> 01:07:35,980 You what? 553 01:07:36,980 --> 01:07:39,200 You've taken a room at Plato's retreat. 554 01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,000 Blaze, what the hell do you know about philosophy? 555 01:07:42,900 --> 01:07:45,720 Get back here. I've got to find an antidote. I'm in trouble. 556 01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:47,020 Hurry! 557 01:11:30,470 --> 01:11:31,470 Oh. 558 01:12:15,470 --> 01:12:20,030 We're sorry. There is no antidote. Our researchers are working around the clock 559 01:12:20,030 --> 01:12:23,530 and hope to find one soon. Thanks for calling MHM. 560 01:12:25,290 --> 01:12:26,290 This is hopeless. 561 01:12:26,630 --> 01:12:28,690 Wendy, what am I getting myself into? 562 01:12:29,030 --> 01:12:30,630 I've got to find an antidote. 563 01:12:33,490 --> 01:12:34,490 We're sorry. 564 01:12:34,590 --> 01:12:38,370 There is no antidote. Our researchers are working around the clock. 565 01:14:17,130 --> 01:14:18,190 Ah. Ah. 566 01:14:18,870 --> 01:14:19,870 Ah. 567 01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:22,430 Ah. Ah. 568 01:15:46,920 --> 01:15:47,920 Oh. 569 01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,000 Oh, God. 570 01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:06,898 It's your turn. 571 01:17:06,900 --> 01:17:08,300 Oh, no, it's not. 572 01:17:08,800 --> 01:17:11,540 Hey, look, this is my joint, and you haven't even paid yet. 573 01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:15,400 You can't even begin to pay for all you've had. Now get your clothes 574 01:17:15,400 --> 01:17:18,580 and get out of here. Hey, I got enough money to pay for this. Look, it's my... 575 01:17:18,580 --> 01:17:20,560 Hey, trust me for a minute, would you please? 576 01:17:20,800 --> 01:17:21,800 Would you please? 577 01:17:22,760 --> 01:17:23,780 Why don't you have a drink of this? 578 01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,280 I'll take a drink first. 579 01:17:27,020 --> 01:17:27,919 What is it? 580 01:17:27,920 --> 01:17:30,220 It's PQM2. 581 01:17:33,260 --> 01:17:34,260 Give me... 582 01:17:35,490 --> 01:17:37,450 Try it. I mean, it'll make you feel real good. Just try it. 583 01:17:37,790 --> 01:17:39,270 See, I drank some of it. It's all right. 584 01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:40,750 Please. 585 01:17:42,130 --> 01:17:43,910 Come on, it's not that bad. Go ahead. 586 01:17:47,450 --> 01:17:51,110 Wow, what is this stuff? I said it's PQM2. It's elixir. 587 01:17:52,230 --> 01:17:53,230 Elixir, huh? 588 01:17:55,790 --> 01:17:56,790 See, it makes you good. 589 01:17:56,890 --> 01:18:00,550 It makes you feel good, huh? It feels better the second time. Yeah? 590 01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:06,360 What a challenging attitude. 591 01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:36,610 Love potion. 592 01:18:36,890 --> 01:18:38,970 I'm gonna give that a piece of my mind 593 01:19:13,350 --> 01:19:15,930 Are you responsible for PQM2? 594 01:19:17,350 --> 01:19:19,990 Listen, do you know what's been going on at this whorehouse? 595 01:19:20,610 --> 01:19:25,470 This guy has been fucking us all night long, and I'm exhausted. 596 01:19:26,330 --> 01:19:28,610 I want an antidote. 597 01:19:29,330 --> 01:19:33,790 Gosh, I'm really sorry to hear all that. Our researchers are working around the 598 01:19:33,790 --> 01:19:35,810 clock and hope to find an antidote soon. 599 01:19:36,490 --> 01:19:38,250 There's no need to give up hope. 600 01:19:41,990 --> 01:19:42,990 preoccupied out there. 601 01:19:43,230 --> 01:19:44,290 How's it going here? 602 01:19:44,650 --> 01:19:45,690 Nothing. Nothing. 603 01:19:46,030 --> 01:19:47,950 I can't find an antidote without brains. 604 01:19:48,370 --> 01:19:50,870 I wish he didn't get trapped in the body of that super -thead. 605 01:20:40,970 --> 01:20:42,230 Probably will die here. 606 01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:06,160 Yeah, shoot, baby. What is it? 607 01:22:06,500 --> 01:22:08,940 Do you like me? Huh? Just a little. 608 01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:11,040 Yeah, sure. 609 01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:12,640 Sure, I like you. 610 01:22:13,000 --> 01:22:14,000 You're terrific. 611 01:22:14,240 --> 01:22:17,620 Through this whole stupid mess, you've been just beautiful. You're a real pro, 612 01:22:17,740 --> 01:22:18,740 kid. 613 01:22:19,540 --> 01:22:21,160 Will you look at me, Herb? 614 01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:22,800 What? 615 01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:24,980 Do you like what you see? 616 01:22:29,760 --> 01:22:30,900 Yeah, so what? 617 01:22:32,320 --> 01:22:34,000 You are so dense. 618 01:22:36,040 --> 01:22:37,500 Look what you did now. You made me lose count. 619 01:22:37,860 --> 01:22:39,160 I can start all over again. 620 01:22:43,680 --> 01:22:44,680 One, two, three, four. 621 01:23:59,260 --> 01:24:02,060 Oh, yeah. 622 01:24:03,480 --> 01:24:04,880 Oh, 623 01:24:06,020 --> 01:24:10,900 yeah. 624 01:24:25,879 --> 01:24:28,800 We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement. 625 01:24:29,040 --> 01:24:32,580 A literal sexual epidemic has taken over the city of San Francisco. 626 01:24:33,140 --> 01:24:37,460 KBNK reporters have phoned in on -the -spot stories of couples copulating in 627 01:24:37,460 --> 01:24:41,620 such diverse places as on a cable car running board, in a Golden Gate Bridge 628 01:24:41,620 --> 01:24:45,540 toll booth, and in the no -smoking area of the Natural Sciences Room at the 629 01:24:45,540 --> 01:24:46,540 Public Library. 630 01:24:46,860 --> 01:24:50,460 When reporters were asked for pictures to substantiate their stories, they said 631 01:24:50,460 --> 01:24:51,460 they would be forthcoming. 632 01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:53,440 That was several days ago. 633 01:24:54,000 --> 01:24:57,580 Subsequent telephone conversations with these same reporters consisted of 634 01:24:57,580 --> 01:25:02,880 incoherent, garbled words broken up by soft, soulful moans, heavy breathing, 635 01:25:02,880 --> 01:25:05,060 one remarkably tender sigh. 636 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:07,420 Update on an earlier story. 637 01:25:07,800 --> 01:25:12,200 The old lady, whom we reported had refused to leave the men's room at 638 01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:15,720 in South San Francisco, has now offered to leave the premises. 639 01:25:16,240 --> 01:25:20,000 if she can be guaranteed the chance to go through the sexual initiation 640 01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:22,940 for membership in the local chapter of the Hell's Angels. 641 01:25:23,620 --> 01:25:28,020 And word out of Washington has it that the president has decided to make a trip 642 01:25:28,020 --> 01:25:31,660 to San Francisco to make an unscheduled speech on foreign policy. 643 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:36,040 The president indicated he had decided to deliver his speech at an appropriate 644 01:25:36,040 --> 01:25:41,740 location, such as on a cable car, at the Golden Gate Bridge, or in the public 645 01:25:41,740 --> 01:25:45,280 library. He said the First Lady would not be with him on this trip. 646 01:25:45,980 --> 01:25:50,220 Meanwhile, the First Lady's office has issued a statement that she has decided 647 01:25:50,220 --> 01:25:53,800 to leave for San Francisco today as part of her tree -planting program. 648 01:25:54,240 --> 01:25:58,360 When asked where she intended to have the tree -planting ceremony, she said it 649 01:25:58,360 --> 01:26:03,300 would be somewhere special, such as on a cable car, on the Golden Gate Bridge, 650 01:26:03,520 --> 01:26:05,160 or in the public library. 651 01:26:06,200 --> 01:26:08,300 That concludes our special broadcast. 652 01:26:08,560 --> 01:26:11,060 Now back to our regularly scheduled program. 653 01:26:12,540 --> 01:26:14,020 Before leaving you... 654 01:26:14,430 --> 01:26:18,890 I would like to remind listeners that KBNK is offering two lifetime season 655 01:26:18,890 --> 01:26:23,410 passes to all Oakland Raider football games to anyone who can bring us a 656 01:26:23,410 --> 01:26:24,550 of PQM2. 657 01:26:25,270 --> 01:26:26,990 Or half a bottle. 658 01:26:28,650 --> 01:26:32,770 Or even an empty bottle that hasn't been washed out. 659 01:26:34,230 --> 01:26:39,350 We will also kick in a free dinner for two at every restaurant of your choice. 660 01:26:41,130 --> 01:26:44,910 And I've just learned that our staff has even offered to chip in a little money. 661 01:26:45,710 --> 01:26:51,230 The combined monthly salaries of the entire KBNK staff. 662 01:26:52,730 --> 01:26:55,110 So, give us a break. 663 01:26:55,590 --> 01:26:59,050 We try to bring you interesting, exciting news stories. 664 01:27:00,450 --> 01:27:02,430 How about a little PQM, too? 665 01:27:04,050 --> 01:27:05,090 Don't make me beg. 666 01:27:07,550 --> 01:27:08,630 Make me beg. 667 01:28:01,770 --> 01:28:02,770 Thank you.